I woke up the other morning to a text from an old friend that read “hey give me a call, I have bad news.” I knew it could only mean one thing, that someone else was dead.
I’ve lost count of the overdoses, suicides, and tragic accidents that have taken people I associated with as a teenager. Every time someone else passes on I can’t help but wonder why my life took such a different turn. We sat in the same room or in the same park, making the same questionable, risky choices. Our young lives were pockmarked with drugs, alcohol, and sexual abuse. -
Yet here I am, and they are not. People told me, “you did it right, you’re living the dream.” And some days I need to hear that, as I get crushed under multiple 12-16 hour days, sad euthanasia’s, angry clients, abnormal romantic relationships, and a huge friend turnover. Some weeks I feel like a goddess and others I feel damaged, and sad. And here I have people telling me that I inspire them because “I’m doing it the right way.”
The truth is that I got lucky. I suppose I’m still here to accomplish something, to heal a part of the collective consciousness. I take memories of people that have outgrown this lifetime with me, and through my body their spirits can physically see places and experience things they didn’t get the chance to while they were here. -
And I’m thankful every day that I made the decision 14 years ago to leave the neighborhood where my shadows overwhelmed my light. -
📸 Joe Baker
-#survivorsguilt #venusretrograde #ekamarogya #yogaeveryday #selfcare #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #veterinarian