I wish I was here right now; a peaceful quiet location where I can close my eyes, take a deep breath and just let my mind go blank. Where I allow myself to surrender to the feeling of the weight being lifted off my shoulders, my heart rate slowing down and the release of tension in my muscles. But here I am instead, feeling emotional distress.
Office politics. Do you ever find yourself in the middle of a situation where you wish you were on the sideline? That’s how I felt today. I had to lead a meeting that I didn’t even host. Where the tension was so thick that you could slice it with a knife. Two departments fighting over who has more control, more power, more influence. Is it just their male egos? Or the lack of a unified goal? I try to avoid these situations and believe that if I focus on my performance and work ethic, I will get ahead. However, I am afraid this avoidance may set me up to be blindsided. As I get older I am beginning to realize you can’t escape it, you can’t hide from it; it’s everywhere. Politics.
I tell myself I love my job and that I am passionate about what I do. I worked hard to get to where I am. But sometimes I wonder if all the tension, all the stress is worth it. Then I remind myself, that I am in this. I remind myself what my goal is. I will fight to make my mark. I will work hard and show everyone that I can do this. That in this male dominated industry, I will succeed and reach my goals. I will not let my emotions get in the way, but rather use it to work harder and get ahead.