Feeling silly. Some very good things shifted for me this week. I signed a lease for a little house in the neighborhood I grew up in, I got my divorce settlement contribution for the year. Once my year is up, I can get in state tuition so if this real estate stuff doesn’t work out, I can finish college...or do both. And my kid’s therapist supports my theories about what been going on with my kiddos. I am an expert on those two, Mama-gut is never wrong. And so I can take a little bit of a deeper breath than I have in a while. I don’t mind starting out slow and building, I’m just happy to have some relief in anxiety. I always manage to find my way back from Anxietyland. Sure wish I never had to go again. At least it seems to get a little easier. I have my mini-breakdown and start again. I’ve had the full breakdown and ended up in the mental ward of a hospital for a week. It was the best week of my life. I was able to decompress, be looked after and be my open, authentic side for the first time in a very long while. I also saw myself written up in a white board and it shook me. I knew I needed to never ever go back their again. But I was so grateful for the experience. Because now I know where bottom is and if I’m doing better than that, I’m fucking killing it. I know this, I just tend to forget sometimes. I’m working on it.
Take my advice folks, see where you were and teach yourself to never go back. Keep your mind, body and soul pointed forward, and you will always be in the lead. Much love on this balmy Friday night. Stay safe. Remember we are one race, human. Let’s give everyone else the benefit of being human. Forgive, be grateful and give love. #forward #breathe #forgive #letgo #begrateful #remember #loveis #growth #anxiety #speakyourtruthpoem